As I’m sat it writing this, I again re-live the realisation that in just over two months my final university assignment will be submitted and it’ll all have come to an end. I keep telling people that I feel prepared, and for the best part I believe it, however, there is a small part of me wanting to hold on to the life I have now.
I’ve been lucky enough in this last year to find a group of friends anyone would be honoured to call theirs, for this I am extremely grateful, however the thought of leaving them all behind to finish their final year starting September is another one which I don’t think I’m prepared to accept. Wherever I go, my laptop is very closely in tow, probably much to everyone else’s dismay, but it can’t be helped. The work flow is constant, even though we have the lighter quantity of contact hours from across the entire undergraduate programme - I know they struggle to understand the reality behind my saying, third year really is the largest juggling act I’ve faced in my almost 21 years of life.
Juggling university work, socialising and personal time is probably the one thing I find most difficult at present. It was only the other day I found myself formally scheduling myself personal time to switch off, which retrospectively was the weirdest way I have ever spent time to myself. At this point in the year I might as well have a tent set up in the corner of the learning space and save myself the effort of trekking back and forth between university and home.
Out of all of my years at Birmingham City University, this year as my final year has definitely disappeared the quickest – full steam ahead. I feel as though most of this overwhelming sensation stems from not being comfortable with the change to the unknown. As I’m slowly plucking through my dissertation, I got this urge to blab about how much of an empty feeling currently encompasses me, not in a pitiful way, but more so that the empty state is due to my head running at ten to the dozen, always.
Despite this, third year has equally been the most interesting and rewarding. I’ve had the opportunity to refine my skills and knowledge and channel it into both my dissertation and final year project, visit Bristol as part of our Magical Mystery Tour (#BCUMediaOnTour) and work alongside the School of Media family to help spread the amazing work they do for all of us that choose Media at BCU. I think all of this is why I feel unprepared to leave. I’m part of such an amazing family at university, both as part of BCU Media but also with the friends I have made, and I’m not ready to leave all of that behind.